If anything there’s like this second mind reeling inside of my head. A mind that I don’t want , I don’t like , it scares me.
I hadn’t really realized the thoughts of suicide are back nor did I realize just how serious it is.
I could go to bed at 3 and be awake for another 2 hours just thinking of ways to kill myself. How sad everyone would be if I was gone and just how bad off I was because they were to caught up in themselves.
Even though they aren’t caught up in themselves a part of me is just feeling left behind in every aspect.
Like they’re off in their shiny world while i’m stuck in my bleak little world , thats my own fault though really.
Forget this being a 365 blog this is now for my feelings.
This is a reminder so I know to update it.
Derp.
Spent most of the day in Chinatown with my friend.
We attempted to raid a japanese market but it wasn’t really working because they didn’t have much we wanted to buy.
I can say this now btw , TARO MOCHI IS….WEIRD. IDK IT WASN’T BAD BUT IT WASN’T GOOD.
IDEFK.
Ugh but we ended up going to bed at like freaking 8 am and slept until 5 pm. We woke up feeling like shit x.x
So we sat around eating and spending most of our time on the computer playing Audition and being on Ernya.
I don’t even remember what happened on the 11th.
I know my family was nagging back and forth , my mom was still in her “weird phase”.
That’s all I guess. I promise these will be more detailed.
edit::
Today went rather weirdly it was a bit of a blur , I vaguely remember eatting dinner and spent all night on the computer till about 7 am and then went to bed.